Post by Elirius on Oct 22, 2015 7:11:45 GMT
Put on a Smile
Prompt Exchange 1
Prompt #1: All the pressure of suppressing emotions/being Kid finally makes Kaito crack and break down. Preferably at a heist where someone sees.
Wear it like a mask.
Hiding away everything.
Remember…
Put on a smile because everyone is watching.
The clock struck midnight signalling a new day. Normally Kaito didn't have heist this late at night, but today was an exception. He started the show like he always did. Taunting the police and showing off to keep everyone's attention off his actual plan.
Quickly he moved through the museum letting the police follow him. He could have evaded them but like a cat with a mouse he played with them. It was the role they expected. It was the rule of the game.
He ran, they chased. Like a rehearsed dance that everyone knew. He laughed hollowly at their attempts to capture him. He smiled widely even as it hurt his face. He had to wear a smile. He passed through barricades easily as he heard a familiar voice.
He paid less attention to his normal jesting behavior in favor of ending the heist quickly.
Reaching the jewel after sending off his pursuers in a different direction. Far across town with their helicopter and squad of men. He entered the grand room stopping once he saw the Prince of Emerald, a necklace.
He could feel it gnawing at his heart.
Hope.
The thought that this might be the one he'd been searching for. He could finally end it. It was always like this. Hope lacing the edges of his emotions, threatening to making him feel relief. Always before he knew the truth. It was foolish and childish to feel so hopeful every time.
Had he not learn from all the other times?
Even as the moonlight showed through the jewel, splashing deep hues of green across his face, he had already known the truth.
"Not this time either..." He said wondering why his voice cracked.
This was normal, did he really expect to find it. But it had been so long...
Just like every other time he let the hope swallow him. It was such a nice feeling that always caught him. Giving him a false sense of peace that was always snatched from under him. It hurt to fall over and over again and yet he did.
Why hadn't he given up yet?
...on this painful hope.
…on this painful dream.
He was breaking himself down with every failure.
His hope was being destroy each time leaving nothing but the strangling hands of dread and disappointment.
Those were the emotions he tried to avoid but again he failed, by having an expectations and letting it fester into hope in his heart. Every time he did this he was hoping for something… aching. He was holding a prayer in his heart for vengeance or was it closure.
There would be neither this day. As it had been time and time again. Nothing but emptiness remain. A stark contrast to the hope he had minutes earlier. It was painful almost excruciating.
He stood on the roof shaking, trying his hardest to stop the tears that accumulated. Deep breaths did nothing at all for him. The sadness was gripping him so tightly. Like a unseen hands choking the life from him. He was suffocating. He was drowning, in insecurity and inferiority.
Smiling was getting harder and harder as he asphyxiated on the emotions he was taught to smile through.
He tore the tie from his neck and undid the first button on his shirt. Still the feeling persisted. Like a weight on his heart and butterflies beating their wings against his stomach in an effort to burst out of their prison. Still he was being choke by a falsely perceived force.
He was losing the battle. His body began shake violently as he still tried to keep it together. He tried to bottle the out of control feelings but they broke out of their cage each time he locked them away.
It started low at first. A faint sound that had not completely broke the silence. Then it grew and grew until it was out of control. Like a fire where fuel was used instead of water to put it out.
It was laughter. Painful laughter that was devoid of any lighter emotion.
Kaito wondered who was laughing so brokenly. The laughter quickly devolved into sobs. He grabbed his mouth in an effort to shut off the sounds that poured from him freely, when he realized it was in fact him that was sobbing uncontrollably. Agonizing crying that hurt. Sobbing that came from a dark place in him. A place he didn't wish to go back to. He hadn't even realized he had reached the breaking point so quickly.
He didn't remember falling to his knees or hiding his face behind his hands. All he could feel was the cold air of being exposed outside and the shame of falling apart.
His breath labored as he cried. Then he realized that he couldn't breath. He was panicking like a lost child. It was embarrassing and shameful. He tried to fight through but he couldn't. He couldn't muster the strength any longer to fight his wayward emotions. So he broke apart like delicate glass. Shattering into innumerable pieces that he could not put back together. He could feel his sobs still shaking him, battering him and leeching the energy from his body.
The panic became urgent. He was really struggling to breath. He gasped loudly into the night, half clawing at his throat. Leaving red welts down his neck. His heart raced loudly in his chest and his mind became hysterical. He shuddered involuntarily as anxiety reached a crescendo. He felt like he was about to go over the edge.
"Kid..."
He jumped at the voice startled. He tried to rise from his position still body spasming, but a hand landed gently on his head. He couldn't even remember where his hat went. He lost it in the time it took for him to come undone.
"...just this once." The detective said softly. Kaito never heard him speak like this. The young man went down to his knees in front of the thief and gently touched his shoulders. "Just focus on breathing."
Kaito did as he was told and focused on calming down. He swallowed down the tightness in his throat, but it came right back. He was wheezing suddenly. He could be capture because he broke. His weakness could end him.
So many thoughts crowded his mind with what he didn't do and what he should have done. His gasping became the screeching sound one made when trying to force air through a closed throat. He was fighting to breath, almost flailing.
"…Kuroba-kun." the way the detective said his name made Kaito stop struggling. He knew that this display of weakness wouldn't be used against him. The detective wouldn't hurt him like that. "Breath."
Kaito did slowly filling his lungs. It was stuttering at first but even out after a few deep breaths. He was freeing himself from the grip of his panic. Fighting against the strangling dread and sadness. He couldn't drown just yet.
The detective gently stroke his back as he tried to build up his defense, but still he silently cried at his failure and the relentless task he forced upon himself. Giving up wasn't an option for him. He had to continue on, even he wanted to stay on this roof forever.
Put on a smile because everyone is watching…
With a swift intake of air he steeled his shaking form and grab the hands that comforted him. He could feel the young man become surprised by his sudden movement.
"Hakuba…" he said sitting up but keeping his head down.
"We all have our moments of weakeness." Hakuba said still his voice barely a whisper. It was laced with some emotion that Kaito couldn't place. "Just this once… you didn't look like you were having fun. You looked as if you might fall apart. Like a living doll forced to smile infinitely."
Kaito flinched at the perfect analogy to the mask he wore. He still held on to the blonde's wrist but his firm grip was waning. He was tired.
He almost didn't want to let go. The detective had done more for him than he wanted to admit. He looked up only to see the profile of the young man. He was purposely avoiding letting their eyes meet.
"Do your best, but don't break your own heart doing it." he pulled slowly away signalling Kaito to let go. The thief did so and stood up unable to reply. The mask he had forced upon his face was ripped off by simple words.
He dropped the necklace into Hakuba lap and picked up his forgotten top hat. His heart no longer pounding with fear or panic, he spoke.
"Thank you… Hakuba."
The detective only then turned to him. Hazel briefly met Indigo. Hakuba said nothing more as Kaito took off into the night sky. Leaving the detective watching as he disappeared under the stars.
I hope this is right. I have never use Kaito before so I was a little skeptical. I love writing angst so I was a bit confident in that aspect. Overall I think it came out okay. I want to make a few changes here and there. I was torn between using Conan, Hakuba and strangely Nakamori.
Prompt Exchange 1
Prompt #1: All the pressure of suppressing emotions/being Kid finally makes Kaito crack and break down. Preferably at a heist where someone sees.
Wear it like a mask.
Hiding away everything.
Remember…
Put on a smile because everyone is watching.
The clock struck midnight signalling a new day. Normally Kaito didn't have heist this late at night, but today was an exception. He started the show like he always did. Taunting the police and showing off to keep everyone's attention off his actual plan.
Quickly he moved through the museum letting the police follow him. He could have evaded them but like a cat with a mouse he played with them. It was the role they expected. It was the rule of the game.
He ran, they chased. Like a rehearsed dance that everyone knew. He laughed hollowly at their attempts to capture him. He smiled widely even as it hurt his face. He had to wear a smile. He passed through barricades easily as he heard a familiar voice.
He paid less attention to his normal jesting behavior in favor of ending the heist quickly.
Reaching the jewel after sending off his pursuers in a different direction. Far across town with their helicopter and squad of men. He entered the grand room stopping once he saw the Prince of Emerald, a necklace.
He could feel it gnawing at his heart.
Hope.
The thought that this might be the one he'd been searching for. He could finally end it. It was always like this. Hope lacing the edges of his emotions, threatening to making him feel relief. Always before he knew the truth. It was foolish and childish to feel so hopeful every time.
Had he not learn from all the other times?
Even as the moonlight showed through the jewel, splashing deep hues of green across his face, he had already known the truth.
"Not this time either..." He said wondering why his voice cracked.
This was normal, did he really expect to find it. But it had been so long...
Just like every other time he let the hope swallow him. It was such a nice feeling that always caught him. Giving him a false sense of peace that was always snatched from under him. It hurt to fall over and over again and yet he did.
Why hadn't he given up yet?
...on this painful hope.
…on this painful dream.
He was breaking himself down with every failure.
His hope was being destroy each time leaving nothing but the strangling hands of dread and disappointment.
Those were the emotions he tried to avoid but again he failed, by having an expectations and letting it fester into hope in his heart. Every time he did this he was hoping for something… aching. He was holding a prayer in his heart for vengeance or was it closure.
There would be neither this day. As it had been time and time again. Nothing but emptiness remain. A stark contrast to the hope he had minutes earlier. It was painful almost excruciating.
He stood on the roof shaking, trying his hardest to stop the tears that accumulated. Deep breaths did nothing at all for him. The sadness was gripping him so tightly. Like a unseen hands choking the life from him. He was suffocating. He was drowning, in insecurity and inferiority.
Smiling was getting harder and harder as he asphyxiated on the emotions he was taught to smile through.
He tore the tie from his neck and undid the first button on his shirt. Still the feeling persisted. Like a weight on his heart and butterflies beating their wings against his stomach in an effort to burst out of their prison. Still he was being choke by a falsely perceived force.
He was losing the battle. His body began shake violently as he still tried to keep it together. He tried to bottle the out of control feelings but they broke out of their cage each time he locked them away.
It started low at first. A faint sound that had not completely broke the silence. Then it grew and grew until it was out of control. Like a fire where fuel was used instead of water to put it out.
It was laughter. Painful laughter that was devoid of any lighter emotion.
Kaito wondered who was laughing so brokenly. The laughter quickly devolved into sobs. He grabbed his mouth in an effort to shut off the sounds that poured from him freely, when he realized it was in fact him that was sobbing uncontrollably. Agonizing crying that hurt. Sobbing that came from a dark place in him. A place he didn't wish to go back to. He hadn't even realized he had reached the breaking point so quickly.
He didn't remember falling to his knees or hiding his face behind his hands. All he could feel was the cold air of being exposed outside and the shame of falling apart.
His breath labored as he cried. Then he realized that he couldn't breath. He was panicking like a lost child. It was embarrassing and shameful. He tried to fight through but he couldn't. He couldn't muster the strength any longer to fight his wayward emotions. So he broke apart like delicate glass. Shattering into innumerable pieces that he could not put back together. He could feel his sobs still shaking him, battering him and leeching the energy from his body.
The panic became urgent. He was really struggling to breath. He gasped loudly into the night, half clawing at his throat. Leaving red welts down his neck. His heart raced loudly in his chest and his mind became hysterical. He shuddered involuntarily as anxiety reached a crescendo. He felt like he was about to go over the edge.
"Kid..."
He jumped at the voice startled. He tried to rise from his position still body spasming, but a hand landed gently on his head. He couldn't even remember where his hat went. He lost it in the time it took for him to come undone.
"...just this once." The detective said softly. Kaito never heard him speak like this. The young man went down to his knees in front of the thief and gently touched his shoulders. "Just focus on breathing."
Kaito did as he was told and focused on calming down. He swallowed down the tightness in his throat, but it came right back. He was wheezing suddenly. He could be capture because he broke. His weakness could end him.
So many thoughts crowded his mind with what he didn't do and what he should have done. His gasping became the screeching sound one made when trying to force air through a closed throat. He was fighting to breath, almost flailing.
"…Kuroba-kun." the way the detective said his name made Kaito stop struggling. He knew that this display of weakness wouldn't be used against him. The detective wouldn't hurt him like that. "Breath."
Kaito did slowly filling his lungs. It was stuttering at first but even out after a few deep breaths. He was freeing himself from the grip of his panic. Fighting against the strangling dread and sadness. He couldn't drown just yet.
The detective gently stroke his back as he tried to build up his defense, but still he silently cried at his failure and the relentless task he forced upon himself. Giving up wasn't an option for him. He had to continue on, even he wanted to stay on this roof forever.
Put on a smile because everyone is watching…
With a swift intake of air he steeled his shaking form and grab the hands that comforted him. He could feel the young man become surprised by his sudden movement.
"Hakuba…" he said sitting up but keeping his head down.
"We all have our moments of weakeness." Hakuba said still his voice barely a whisper. It was laced with some emotion that Kaito couldn't place. "Just this once… you didn't look like you were having fun. You looked as if you might fall apart. Like a living doll forced to smile infinitely."
Kaito flinched at the perfect analogy to the mask he wore. He still held on to the blonde's wrist but his firm grip was waning. He was tired.
He almost didn't want to let go. The detective had done more for him than he wanted to admit. He looked up only to see the profile of the young man. He was purposely avoiding letting their eyes meet.
"Do your best, but don't break your own heart doing it." he pulled slowly away signalling Kaito to let go. The thief did so and stood up unable to reply. The mask he had forced upon his face was ripped off by simple words.
He dropped the necklace into Hakuba lap and picked up his forgotten top hat. His heart no longer pounding with fear or panic, he spoke.
"Thank you… Hakuba."
The detective only then turned to him. Hazel briefly met Indigo. Hakuba said nothing more as Kaito took off into the night sky. Leaving the detective watching as he disappeared under the stars.
I hope this is right. I have never use Kaito before so I was a little skeptical. I love writing angst so I was a bit confident in that aspect. Overall I think it came out okay. I want to make a few changes here and there. I was torn between using Conan, Hakuba and strangely Nakamori.