Post by Cesela on Mar 26, 2017 20:01:45 GMT
WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR SERA AND MARY (I can never figure out how to tag spoilers correctly)
Notes: first of all, I had some technical issues and most of my work was frozen on my computer, but I thankfully had a back-up of first part of the story. Its bit of a mess and I haven't had the time to look over for proper editing, and I'll have everything up hopefully by next week.
Fun fact, I actually wrote a paper on 'The second sex' first when I started university 4 years ago, haha, can't really remember much of it though.
This story is written in the same time line as one of my other stories: "Sound of Silence" but this story has nothing to do with the plot, and rather just follow its timeline starting before the other one.
Pairings: Sera x Ran
Rating: T
Wordcount: 3390
Unbetaed, I'll get to the editing later.
Prompt: In honor of International Women's Month: Sera Masumi or any other canonically female character (no genderbending, please); "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman." - Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
...
Sera Masumi loved her family above all, growing up, she idolized her older brothers and yearned to be just like them. Rather than dolls and feminine toys, she played around with detective toy-sets and learned how to pick a lock.
Despite the over a decade difference in their ages, her oldest brother Akai Shuichi, was patient as he taught her everything she needed to know about being a detective, and he would teach her everything he learned at Quantico before joining the FBI. As a prodigious child, Sera soaked it up.
She did not have many friends, and whenever she felt bad about being the odd-man out watching the other kids from the side-line, her mother would lean down and ruffle her hair and say with a comforting voice:
Intelligent people tend to have fewer friends than the average person. The smarter you are, the more selective you become. I’d like to think its because you cherish the few connections you make more, because ‘mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius’.
Sera would preen whenever her mother did that; she felt as though she was in an important club with the rest of her family. Both her brothers and mother were highly intelligent. She met a few more people like that growing up, and later when she moved to Japan to try solve the case of what happened to Akai Shuichi, she was lucky enough to find friends that understood and accepted her for who she was.
She remembered well the day she met Mouri Ran on the sub, she had been surprised by her delicate features and kind smile that hid a strong-willed woman who would do everything in her power to protect the ones she cared about. It had made Sera’s cheek flush and her heart flutter in her chest in surprise.
She had felt a strong urge of wanting to get to know the girl, and it was an added bonus she was right there in the middle of her investigation that it gave Sera an excuse to spend time with her. And when she was made aware of the true nature of the investigation – the Black organization, international-wanted assassins and a poison that kept de-aging people – she did not look back once as her heart thrummed with the feeling of thrill and excitement. It was a mission straight out of a detective novel.
However, reality does not always come with a happy ending to the protagonists. People you care about die or get hurt – and being the one watching people get hurt might even be the worst experience. Knowing one are powerless to help.
Sera had been Ran’s shoulder and held her hand as the news that Edogawa Conan had been kidnapped. Had watched her cry and worry and wring her hands hoping the boy she loved as a brother would come back – and Sera itched with the urge to tell her the truth. But she had made a promise, a promise she would never tell.
We’ll find him, I promise. Conan-kun will come home to you, stay strong and believe in us, she had whispered into Ran’s hair and felt her heart breaking knowing it was a promise she could not guarantee.
In the end, it became a broken promise, as Edogawa Conan never resurfaced, instead, Kudou Shinichi returned, battered, leaning heavily against a pair of ghastly looking crutches and a flush on his cheeks – Sera had not been there – but Ran told her all about it at a later date. How Shinichi had been hiding out as Edogawa Conan and been by her side to protect her against the BO, and although she had been angry and frustrated that he had not trusted her with the truth. She understood and forgave him.
Mostly, she was relieved that Shinichi was alive and the horror hanging over them like a thick cloud for the past two years had finally vanished.
Sera watched them grow closer over the next few weeks, and she was not surprised when they announced they were a couple. She already knew where Ran’s affections laid, however could still not help the pain spreading in her chest at the news. With burning chins, she looked away from the display of the happy couple as Ran smile was brighter than the sun and laughter like the chiming of bells in the spring.
She was confused by her feelings, wondering why her thoughts always wandered back to Ran, and she could not recognize the reasons behind the illogical actions at first. However, she could not subdue the feeling of jealousy watching them from afar – of longing for something she had never had.
Sera Masumi had always been boyish, always dressed and mimicked her brothers’ behaviour. She always felt out of synch being forced to wear clothing she was not comfortable with – like Japanese school uniforms. She had never possessed the same grace or natural beauty as Ran, and watching her, Sera felt like a child in comparison, not a woman, despite being in her early twenties. It was disheartening for the first time in her life, to be different, to be a genius.
“What does it mean to be a woman?” she asked her mother with a quiet tone, clutching the phone in her hand, and her eyes strained at the rain pitter-pattering against the window.
The only response was static from the line, indicating that Mary moved the phone away – perhaps she had not been alone in the room, or was looking for something. “That, my dear, is an excellent question,” came the raspy reply. “One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius; and the feminine situation has up to the present rendered this becoming practically impossible.”
Sera fell silent for a moment, before etching her eyebrows in confusion. “Quoting Simone de Beauvoir does not clarify my question.”
She could almost hear the smile on her mother’s lips as she continued. “That was my intention –“
“I’m serious,” the young detective snapped into the receiver, her heart palpitating in her chest from Mary’s calculated vagueness. “Is it my biology? I’m not very feminine looking, but I can give birth to children. Or is it identifying yourself as a woman and look like a woman that makes you one?”
“Masumi,” Mary sighed, “I can’t give you an exact answer: there are no set blueprint. Identity issues are common in our society. I believe it’s rather up to the individual.”
There was a small silence as Sera tried to swallow the words, feeling a little bitter that there was not a set of specific rules for her to follow. The point of being a detective was always having a logical answer that she could understand – if so, she was a woman because of her biological parts, but then why was so different. But on the same coin, she was well aware she was not a man. Would it be possible to be neither?
“What brought the questions on so suddenly?” her companion quarried with a light tone, before turning teasing. “Is this about that Mouri Ran girl?”
Sera flushed, deciding to ignore the suggestive tone in Mary’s voice.Her eyes finally left the scenario from outside and landed on the photograph of Sera and Ran on the desk. She hesitated for a second, before reaching out to pick it up. They looked so happy in the picture, she could barely not recognize herself with lit eyes and a happy smile stretched across her face. She remembered the way her heart had fluttered as she threw an arm over Ran’s shoulders.
“Mum?” she waited a beat for the affirmative hum before continuing. “Why am I so – so different?”
“Because you are my daughter,” came the immediate reply, soft as a purr and with a hint of a pride. “I wouldn’t have you either way. You know I love your right? No matter what.”
There was a suggestion there that Sera did not understand, and she put the photograph back. “I love you to, mum. Thanks for – for humouring me.”
“Anytime, now, when are you coming back to America?”
…
Mary’s question was stuck in her head for days later – when was she returning to America? The investigation was over, the case was closed, she had found her older brother, and albeit she had friends here, she felt herself feeling longing for a time that was easier, when her heart did not clench whenever Ran called her with a soft voice and an apology that she had to reschedule their outings to be with Shinichi instead.
She sat down on a red park-bench, the early-spring breeze ruffling her hair. A stray pedal from a flower from the blossom trees looming above her settled in her hair. Two meters away, in the pond, was a flock of ducks quaking and eating the bread Ran had been feeding them minutes earlier. She had left as her phone had called and withdrawn out of sight to answer it.
Sera had a clump in her stomach from the indecisions, perhaps she should leave Japan and return to her home. It was a tempting idea, however she did not know whether it would break her heart or make things less confusing.
She was not alone for long, as the sound of the pebbles on the road started to crouch as someone approached – however she could tell immediately it was not Ran, seeing as the footsteps originated from two people.
“Sera-san?”
She looked up in surprise as someone addressed her: a couple had come to an abrupt stop and was peering down at her with an open and friendly expressions. The woman had copper-brown hair and kind eyes as a flush on her cheek indicating they had taken a long trek around the park already, she wore a deep-orange jacket which hung from her shoulders, being a size too large on her small frame.
The man was taller than woman, and in comparison, his clothing was neatly fitting, hugging his frame in all the right places – indicating that the clothing was tailor-made – and the way he held his jaw and shoulder revealed his high-social-standing. He had a light-brown shade on his hair that looked almost honey-golden in the early-spring sun.
“Hakuba-kun,” Sera nodded in greeting as she recognized him.
Hakuba Saguru did not miss a beat as she introduced the woman standing next to him. “This is Nakamori Aoko, my girlfriend.”
At his words, Aoko lowered her eyes with a dark flush, and her lips quirked upwards automatically at the possessive tone of his words. “Yes, she knows that already, we’ve met before.”
Hakuba’s eyes glanced between the two with a baffled expression, before understanding dawned. “Oh yes, of course. My bad, I should have known the two of you were already acquainted from Kaitou KID’s heists.”
Aoko let go of his hand, as she slid into an unoccupied seat grin at Sera with a friendly smile. “As always, thank you for your amazing participation at the heists. The boys haven’t been able to catch that thief, I’m certain what he need is worthy female adversaries to finally be caught.”
Sera’s shoulders relaxed, and she smirked back at the girl. “Of course, I’ll have my revenge!” she held up her arm and grabbed her bicep with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She would definitely never forget KID sedating her and tying her up in the bathroom during the Blush Mermaid heist. He had made the mistake of assuming she was a boy.
Hakuba shifted his position, but his eyes were strained on Aoko with an affectionate expression, and Sera’s good mood suddenly evaporated again as she lowered her eyes. There was a sting of envy, she had never imagined she would ever yearn for someone to look at her just like that – but the last few months, ever since Ran and Shinichi had gotten together – she had realized it had been one of the things she was missing in her life. In most literature, when the protagonist had won against the darkness or battled against an evil mastermind, they always won their romantic partner and ended up with a life lesson and a companion.
Sera had fought in her battles, beaten the Bechdel test and come out victories despite the odds against them. Only to come to the sudden realization that she was not the protagonist, just the side-kick. She shook her head mentally, why was she being so gloomily lately? She still could not shake of the wistfulness of not wanting to be alone again – not after meeting Ran, Shinichi, Hattori, Hakuba and the others.
However, it felt as though everyone was paired up and happy, except for her.
“Sera-san?”
She focused back on Aoko before the girl started to wave her hand in front of her eyes to catch her attention, and she could suppress the sheepish smile stretching across her lips from being distracted. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”
“I just wondered if you were here alone,” she asked with a friendly expression, before her lips curled upwards almost wickedly as she continued. “You wouldn’t be on a date, would you?”
Now it was Sera’s time to flush darkly at the implication, and her heart suddenly started to flutter painfully in her chest at the question. “No-no, I’m just –“
“Sera-chan!”
They all turned their head to the side as Ran appeared, holding two cones of ice cream and a curious yet friendly expression. It took her a moment longer to recognize the newcomers, and her smiles brighten as she greeted them. “If I’d known you were here, I’d would have bought you ice cream too.”
Aoko stood from the bench as Ran approach, and she waved in greeting. “Ran-chan! Pleasure seeing you, how are you?”
Ran handed Sera the ice cream – the female detective felt her heart fluttering again from her kindness, and she had the feeling the karate master was feeling guilty for leaving so abruptly, and Sera could not find herself to mind.
“Oh, I’m just fine. It’s a beautiful day to take a stroll, don’t you think? The cherry blossoms just started to bloom and I heard they’ve planted daffodils that will sprout till Easter.”
“I didn’t know that, we have to go and see that, Saguru,” Aoko looked at Hakuba with a hopeful expression, and he did not hesitate to put an arm around her shoulder and give her s squeeze and planted a kiss on top of her head as he hummed an agreement.
Sera let their voices wash over her as she started to eat her ice cream, her eyes almost glued on the frame of the girl she came with her as she smiled and laughed at something the other girl said, and the detective was struck again with how beautiful she was. Everything about Mouri Ran was so feminine and woman-like, even when she was fierce and broke doors to come to someone’s rescue or help capture a criminal.
Her dual sides were so endearing, and in comparison, Sera felt flawed. She was hot-headed and impulsive and did not own a shred of feminine grace. Although she had never minded being mistaken for a boy in the past, just brushed it off as though it did not matter. But that was when she was in her teen, still trying to figure out who she wanted to be. Sometimes, she wondered if she was envious for Ran being Ran, but shook the idea away quickly: she had never wanted to be Ran, she just admired her more than she could find proper words to express.
Ran was just utter spectacular, like a Goddess from the old times incarnated in a human body.
Those thoughts occupied her mind as they bid farewell to Aoko and Hakuba a while later. Ran’s steps crunched on the cobbled path, and in the distance they could hear the quaking of ducks and a bird singing.
“Ne, Sera-chan, you have been acting strange today. What’s on your mind?” Ran turned to face her with an open yet concerned expression, and Sera was drowning in her lavender orbs that glittered from the reflection of the sun on the water.
The detective barely managed to suppress a flush, and her heart was fluttering in her chest again – like it always did in Ran’s company. She was too sweet and concerned about everyone’s wellbeing, not to mention possessed an eerie intuition when it came to other people’s emotional state. Of all the knowledge Sera retained – or Hattori, or Kudou for that matter – none of them could compare to her ability to read their fellow human being so accurately.
It was just another thing that made her so endearing.
“I – eh – I talked to my mum a few days ago,” she lowered her eyes and pushed the brim of her hat into her face, hoping the shadows would obscure her facial features. “She was asking when I was going back to America.”
Ran was a silent companion for a long moment, however Sera did not dare to glance in her direction to gouge her facial expression. “And how about you? Do you want to – to go home?” her voice stumbled only on the last word, and this time Sera’s eyes darted to her face automatically. Ran’s expression was soft, and as their eyes met, she gave a gentle smile.
“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully, “it depends –“
“Depends on what?” Ran queried when she did not continue, her head tilted to the side. A lock of hair brushed against her chin before falling down over her shoulder.
“Depends on whether or not I have a reason to stay.”
The moment the words slipped past her lips, she regretted them as her heart hammered in her chest with guilt. She was unsure where the feeling originated from, but her mouth felt dry as she suddenly felt cruel. It had been entirely unfair to Ran, to put such an unnecessary burden on her shoulders when the fault laid entirely on Sera for being so bitter – bitter that she felt different, that she felt like nothing but a child in wolf’s clothing, and that she apparently traded away her femininity for being a genius and the desire for being a sloth. Part of her wish she could be like Ran: perfect in every way imaginable.
The guilt only increased as Ran’s face faltered, and a flash of sadness gleamed in her eyes. Before Sera could part her lips to utter an apology, Ran linked their arms together – the touch sent a sparkle of electricity across her skin that almost made the detective gasp in surprise.
“You have me, don’t you?” Me and Shinichi, Sonoko, Hattori, Kazuha, Makoto,” her smile was only blinding, “do I need to continue?” she said teasingly, before her features softened. “We are your friends – we would all be sad to see you go. But this is your life: if Sera-chan thinks its for the best, then that’s what Sera-chan should do. Just promise me you’ll stay in touch.”
Sera lowered her eyes again, her heart was palpitating in her chest too fast for comfort. Why was Ran always so kind no matter what? If played on her heartstrings as she realized she did not want to stop hearing Ran’s voice or the sound of her laughter, seeing her radiant smile or the sun glittering off her skin.
She wanted to stay by Ran’s side and take a morning stroll together, eating ice cream and have their arms linked forever. But as the they finally parted ways an hour later – she needed to make dinner and make sure Shinichi ate something – Sera felt trusted back into the cold and dark.
However, most important she understood one factor as she followed the retreating form of her friend with her eyes till she disappeared out of view. Ran might be the axes that made the world rotate in her world, but Sera was not Ran’s – had never been. It had always been Shinichi, and she could not begrudge him that, they were perfect for each other. Despite the logic, her mind and heart did not commute, and she felt crushed as though a thousand pounds were weighting on her shoulders, and she staggered home on unstable feet with a heavy heart.
TBC
Notes: first of all, I had some technical issues and most of my work was frozen on my computer, but I thankfully had a back-up of first part of the story. Its bit of a mess and I haven't had the time to look over for proper editing, and I'll have everything up hopefully by next week.
Fun fact, I actually wrote a paper on 'The second sex' first when I started university 4 years ago, haha, can't really remember much of it though.
This story is written in the same time line as one of my other stories: "Sound of Silence" but this story has nothing to do with the plot, and rather just follow its timeline starting before the other one.
Pairings: Sera x Ran
Rating: T
Wordcount: 3390
Unbetaed, I'll get to the editing later.
Prompt: In honor of International Women's Month: Sera Masumi or any other canonically female character (no genderbending, please); "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman." - Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
...
Sera Masumi loved her family above all, growing up, she idolized her older brothers and yearned to be just like them. Rather than dolls and feminine toys, she played around with detective toy-sets and learned how to pick a lock.
Despite the over a decade difference in their ages, her oldest brother Akai Shuichi, was patient as he taught her everything she needed to know about being a detective, and he would teach her everything he learned at Quantico before joining the FBI. As a prodigious child, Sera soaked it up.
She did not have many friends, and whenever she felt bad about being the odd-man out watching the other kids from the side-line, her mother would lean down and ruffle her hair and say with a comforting voice:
Intelligent people tend to have fewer friends than the average person. The smarter you are, the more selective you become. I’d like to think its because you cherish the few connections you make more, because ‘mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius’.
Sera would preen whenever her mother did that; she felt as though she was in an important club with the rest of her family. Both her brothers and mother were highly intelligent. She met a few more people like that growing up, and later when she moved to Japan to try solve the case of what happened to Akai Shuichi, she was lucky enough to find friends that understood and accepted her for who she was.
She remembered well the day she met Mouri Ran on the sub, she had been surprised by her delicate features and kind smile that hid a strong-willed woman who would do everything in her power to protect the ones she cared about. It had made Sera’s cheek flush and her heart flutter in her chest in surprise.
She had felt a strong urge of wanting to get to know the girl, and it was an added bonus she was right there in the middle of her investigation that it gave Sera an excuse to spend time with her. And when she was made aware of the true nature of the investigation – the Black organization, international-wanted assassins and a poison that kept de-aging people – she did not look back once as her heart thrummed with the feeling of thrill and excitement. It was a mission straight out of a detective novel.
However, reality does not always come with a happy ending to the protagonists. People you care about die or get hurt – and being the one watching people get hurt might even be the worst experience. Knowing one are powerless to help.
Sera had been Ran’s shoulder and held her hand as the news that Edogawa Conan had been kidnapped. Had watched her cry and worry and wring her hands hoping the boy she loved as a brother would come back – and Sera itched with the urge to tell her the truth. But she had made a promise, a promise she would never tell.
We’ll find him, I promise. Conan-kun will come home to you, stay strong and believe in us, she had whispered into Ran’s hair and felt her heart breaking knowing it was a promise she could not guarantee.
In the end, it became a broken promise, as Edogawa Conan never resurfaced, instead, Kudou Shinichi returned, battered, leaning heavily against a pair of ghastly looking crutches and a flush on his cheeks – Sera had not been there – but Ran told her all about it at a later date. How Shinichi had been hiding out as Edogawa Conan and been by her side to protect her against the BO, and although she had been angry and frustrated that he had not trusted her with the truth. She understood and forgave him.
Mostly, she was relieved that Shinichi was alive and the horror hanging over them like a thick cloud for the past two years had finally vanished.
Sera watched them grow closer over the next few weeks, and she was not surprised when they announced they were a couple. She already knew where Ran’s affections laid, however could still not help the pain spreading in her chest at the news. With burning chins, she looked away from the display of the happy couple as Ran smile was brighter than the sun and laughter like the chiming of bells in the spring.
She was confused by her feelings, wondering why her thoughts always wandered back to Ran, and she could not recognize the reasons behind the illogical actions at first. However, she could not subdue the feeling of jealousy watching them from afar – of longing for something she had never had.
Sera Masumi had always been boyish, always dressed and mimicked her brothers’ behaviour. She always felt out of synch being forced to wear clothing she was not comfortable with – like Japanese school uniforms. She had never possessed the same grace or natural beauty as Ran, and watching her, Sera felt like a child in comparison, not a woman, despite being in her early twenties. It was disheartening for the first time in her life, to be different, to be a genius.
“What does it mean to be a woman?” she asked her mother with a quiet tone, clutching the phone in her hand, and her eyes strained at the rain pitter-pattering against the window.
The only response was static from the line, indicating that Mary moved the phone away – perhaps she had not been alone in the room, or was looking for something. “That, my dear, is an excellent question,” came the raspy reply. “One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius; and the feminine situation has up to the present rendered this becoming practically impossible.”
Sera fell silent for a moment, before etching her eyebrows in confusion. “Quoting Simone de Beauvoir does not clarify my question.”
She could almost hear the smile on her mother’s lips as she continued. “That was my intention –“
“I’m serious,” the young detective snapped into the receiver, her heart palpitating in her chest from Mary’s calculated vagueness. “Is it my biology? I’m not very feminine looking, but I can give birth to children. Or is it identifying yourself as a woman and look like a woman that makes you one?”
“Masumi,” Mary sighed, “I can’t give you an exact answer: there are no set blueprint. Identity issues are common in our society. I believe it’s rather up to the individual.”
There was a small silence as Sera tried to swallow the words, feeling a little bitter that there was not a set of specific rules for her to follow. The point of being a detective was always having a logical answer that she could understand – if so, she was a woman because of her biological parts, but then why was so different. But on the same coin, she was well aware she was not a man. Would it be possible to be neither?
“What brought the questions on so suddenly?” her companion quarried with a light tone, before turning teasing. “Is this about that Mouri Ran girl?”
Sera flushed, deciding to ignore the suggestive tone in Mary’s voice.Her eyes finally left the scenario from outside and landed on the photograph of Sera and Ran on the desk. She hesitated for a second, before reaching out to pick it up. They looked so happy in the picture, she could barely not recognize herself with lit eyes and a happy smile stretched across her face. She remembered the way her heart had fluttered as she threw an arm over Ran’s shoulders.
“Mum?” she waited a beat for the affirmative hum before continuing. “Why am I so – so different?”
“Because you are my daughter,” came the immediate reply, soft as a purr and with a hint of a pride. “I wouldn’t have you either way. You know I love your right? No matter what.”
There was a suggestion there that Sera did not understand, and she put the photograph back. “I love you to, mum. Thanks for – for humouring me.”
“Anytime, now, when are you coming back to America?”
…
Mary’s question was stuck in her head for days later – when was she returning to America? The investigation was over, the case was closed, she had found her older brother, and albeit she had friends here, she felt herself feeling longing for a time that was easier, when her heart did not clench whenever Ran called her with a soft voice and an apology that she had to reschedule their outings to be with Shinichi instead.
She sat down on a red park-bench, the early-spring breeze ruffling her hair. A stray pedal from a flower from the blossom trees looming above her settled in her hair. Two meters away, in the pond, was a flock of ducks quaking and eating the bread Ran had been feeding them minutes earlier. She had left as her phone had called and withdrawn out of sight to answer it.
Sera had a clump in her stomach from the indecisions, perhaps she should leave Japan and return to her home. It was a tempting idea, however she did not know whether it would break her heart or make things less confusing.
She was not alone for long, as the sound of the pebbles on the road started to crouch as someone approached – however she could tell immediately it was not Ran, seeing as the footsteps originated from two people.
“Sera-san?”
She looked up in surprise as someone addressed her: a couple had come to an abrupt stop and was peering down at her with an open and friendly expressions. The woman had copper-brown hair and kind eyes as a flush on her cheek indicating they had taken a long trek around the park already, she wore a deep-orange jacket which hung from her shoulders, being a size too large on her small frame.
The man was taller than woman, and in comparison, his clothing was neatly fitting, hugging his frame in all the right places – indicating that the clothing was tailor-made – and the way he held his jaw and shoulder revealed his high-social-standing. He had a light-brown shade on his hair that looked almost honey-golden in the early-spring sun.
“Hakuba-kun,” Sera nodded in greeting as she recognized him.
Hakuba Saguru did not miss a beat as she introduced the woman standing next to him. “This is Nakamori Aoko, my girlfriend.”
At his words, Aoko lowered her eyes with a dark flush, and her lips quirked upwards automatically at the possessive tone of his words. “Yes, she knows that already, we’ve met before.”
Hakuba’s eyes glanced between the two with a baffled expression, before understanding dawned. “Oh yes, of course. My bad, I should have known the two of you were already acquainted from Kaitou KID’s heists.”
Aoko let go of his hand, as she slid into an unoccupied seat grin at Sera with a friendly smile. “As always, thank you for your amazing participation at the heists. The boys haven’t been able to catch that thief, I’m certain what he need is worthy female adversaries to finally be caught.”
Sera’s shoulders relaxed, and she smirked back at the girl. “Of course, I’ll have my revenge!” she held up her arm and grabbed her bicep with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She would definitely never forget KID sedating her and tying her up in the bathroom during the Blush Mermaid heist. He had made the mistake of assuming she was a boy.
Hakuba shifted his position, but his eyes were strained on Aoko with an affectionate expression, and Sera’s good mood suddenly evaporated again as she lowered her eyes. There was a sting of envy, she had never imagined she would ever yearn for someone to look at her just like that – but the last few months, ever since Ran and Shinichi had gotten together – she had realized it had been one of the things she was missing in her life. In most literature, when the protagonist had won against the darkness or battled against an evil mastermind, they always won their romantic partner and ended up with a life lesson and a companion.
Sera had fought in her battles, beaten the Bechdel test and come out victories despite the odds against them. Only to come to the sudden realization that she was not the protagonist, just the side-kick. She shook her head mentally, why was she being so gloomily lately? She still could not shake of the wistfulness of not wanting to be alone again – not after meeting Ran, Shinichi, Hattori, Hakuba and the others.
However, it felt as though everyone was paired up and happy, except for her.
“Sera-san?”
She focused back on Aoko before the girl started to wave her hand in front of her eyes to catch her attention, and she could suppress the sheepish smile stretching across her lips from being distracted. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”
“I just wondered if you were here alone,” she asked with a friendly expression, before her lips curled upwards almost wickedly as she continued. “You wouldn’t be on a date, would you?”
Now it was Sera’s time to flush darkly at the implication, and her heart suddenly started to flutter painfully in her chest at the question. “No-no, I’m just –“
“Sera-chan!”
They all turned their head to the side as Ran appeared, holding two cones of ice cream and a curious yet friendly expression. It took her a moment longer to recognize the newcomers, and her smiles brighten as she greeted them. “If I’d known you were here, I’d would have bought you ice cream too.”
Aoko stood from the bench as Ran approach, and she waved in greeting. “Ran-chan! Pleasure seeing you, how are you?”
Ran handed Sera the ice cream – the female detective felt her heart fluttering again from her kindness, and she had the feeling the karate master was feeling guilty for leaving so abruptly, and Sera could not find herself to mind.
“Oh, I’m just fine. It’s a beautiful day to take a stroll, don’t you think? The cherry blossoms just started to bloom and I heard they’ve planted daffodils that will sprout till Easter.”
“I didn’t know that, we have to go and see that, Saguru,” Aoko looked at Hakuba with a hopeful expression, and he did not hesitate to put an arm around her shoulder and give her s squeeze and planted a kiss on top of her head as he hummed an agreement.
Sera let their voices wash over her as she started to eat her ice cream, her eyes almost glued on the frame of the girl she came with her as she smiled and laughed at something the other girl said, and the detective was struck again with how beautiful she was. Everything about Mouri Ran was so feminine and woman-like, even when she was fierce and broke doors to come to someone’s rescue or help capture a criminal.
Her dual sides were so endearing, and in comparison, Sera felt flawed. She was hot-headed and impulsive and did not own a shred of feminine grace. Although she had never minded being mistaken for a boy in the past, just brushed it off as though it did not matter. But that was when she was in her teen, still trying to figure out who she wanted to be. Sometimes, she wondered if she was envious for Ran being Ran, but shook the idea away quickly: she had never wanted to be Ran, she just admired her more than she could find proper words to express.
Ran was just utter spectacular, like a Goddess from the old times incarnated in a human body.
Those thoughts occupied her mind as they bid farewell to Aoko and Hakuba a while later. Ran’s steps crunched on the cobbled path, and in the distance they could hear the quaking of ducks and a bird singing.
“Ne, Sera-chan, you have been acting strange today. What’s on your mind?” Ran turned to face her with an open yet concerned expression, and Sera was drowning in her lavender orbs that glittered from the reflection of the sun on the water.
The detective barely managed to suppress a flush, and her heart was fluttering in her chest again – like it always did in Ran’s company. She was too sweet and concerned about everyone’s wellbeing, not to mention possessed an eerie intuition when it came to other people’s emotional state. Of all the knowledge Sera retained – or Hattori, or Kudou for that matter – none of them could compare to her ability to read their fellow human being so accurately.
It was just another thing that made her so endearing.
“I – eh – I talked to my mum a few days ago,” she lowered her eyes and pushed the brim of her hat into her face, hoping the shadows would obscure her facial features. “She was asking when I was going back to America.”
Ran was a silent companion for a long moment, however Sera did not dare to glance in her direction to gouge her facial expression. “And how about you? Do you want to – to go home?” her voice stumbled only on the last word, and this time Sera’s eyes darted to her face automatically. Ran’s expression was soft, and as their eyes met, she gave a gentle smile.
“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully, “it depends –“
“Depends on what?” Ran queried when she did not continue, her head tilted to the side. A lock of hair brushed against her chin before falling down over her shoulder.
“Depends on whether or not I have a reason to stay.”
The moment the words slipped past her lips, she regretted them as her heart hammered in her chest with guilt. She was unsure where the feeling originated from, but her mouth felt dry as she suddenly felt cruel. It had been entirely unfair to Ran, to put such an unnecessary burden on her shoulders when the fault laid entirely on Sera for being so bitter – bitter that she felt different, that she felt like nothing but a child in wolf’s clothing, and that she apparently traded away her femininity for being a genius and the desire for being a sloth. Part of her wish she could be like Ran: perfect in every way imaginable.
The guilt only increased as Ran’s face faltered, and a flash of sadness gleamed in her eyes. Before Sera could part her lips to utter an apology, Ran linked their arms together – the touch sent a sparkle of electricity across her skin that almost made the detective gasp in surprise.
“You have me, don’t you?” Me and Shinichi, Sonoko, Hattori, Kazuha, Makoto,” her smile was only blinding, “do I need to continue?” she said teasingly, before her features softened. “We are your friends – we would all be sad to see you go. But this is your life: if Sera-chan thinks its for the best, then that’s what Sera-chan should do. Just promise me you’ll stay in touch.”
Sera lowered her eyes again, her heart was palpitating in her chest too fast for comfort. Why was Ran always so kind no matter what? If played on her heartstrings as she realized she did not want to stop hearing Ran’s voice or the sound of her laughter, seeing her radiant smile or the sun glittering off her skin.
She wanted to stay by Ran’s side and take a morning stroll together, eating ice cream and have their arms linked forever. But as the they finally parted ways an hour later – she needed to make dinner and make sure Shinichi ate something – Sera felt trusted back into the cold and dark.
However, most important she understood one factor as she followed the retreating form of her friend with her eyes till she disappeared out of view. Ran might be the axes that made the world rotate in her world, but Sera was not Ran’s – had never been. It had always been Shinichi, and she could not begrudge him that, they were perfect for each other. Despite the logic, her mind and heart did not commute, and she felt crushed as though a thousand pounds were weighting on her shoulders, and she staggered home on unstable feet with a heavy heart.
TBC