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Post by Mikauzoran on Apr 17, 2016 3:03:40 GMT
Mikau's 100 Day Challenge Hello everyone! I just wanted to share with you all something that I'm attempting to do; it's called the 100 Day Challenge. I got the idea from The Honest Guys ( www.youtube.com/user/TheHonestGuys ) who produce some of my favorite guided meditation videos. I'm not sure if the idea was theirs originally or if they got it from somewhere else, but you can view their 100 Day Challenge videos here: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuaZRqnBYUg4_cDuS8nPzE5dtVf42tKJjBasically, what they did was they set nine varied goals such as getting a certain number of subscribers, getting body fat percentage down to a certain number, producing three free children's audiobooks, and taking two separate trips to the beach, and then they tried to accomplish those nine goals over the following one hundred days. I thought this was a pretty neat idea, so I decided to do my own 100 Days Challenge, focusing on improving myself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. I started this week on Monday April 11, 2016, and my challenge will take me through Tuesday July 19. Yeah. That's a really long time. That's why I decided to make a thread and share my journey with you guys! I could really use the accountability. ^.^; Anyway, I have five main goals that I'm going to be working on over the next few months and nine weekly challenges I'm going to be doing. The Goals:1) My first goal is to do something nice for each of my family members. For my mother, I think I'm going to clean the entire downstairs for her. Like me, she has OCD, and one of her ticks is that she's a total neat freak. Dirt, dog hair, crumbs, and little spills drive her nuts, so one day I'm going to clean the entire downstairs and surprise her. For my father, I'm going to do the dishes for him out of the blue one day. My brother, I'm going to bake him chocolate chip muffins and pick up his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant one day as a surprise. 2) My second goal is to go to three new restaurants sometime during the next one hundred days. I cook about 90% of my own meals, so I never really eat out, but there are lots of great cultural places in my city that I feel like I'm missing out on since when I do go out with my family, we only ever go to the same handful of restaurants we've been to dozens of times before. I want to check out this Japanese place, a Lebanese restaurant, and an Indian restaurant. 3) Hang out with friends three times. Confession: I don't really have friends like normal people do. You guys are kind of my social circle, the people I talk with most and feel closest to. I mean, I chat with people at work (the closest to me in age is still ten years my senior with the majority being 20-40 years older than I am), and I do talk to the people in my workout classes at the gym before and after classes, but...I don't text or call anyone, and no one texts or calls me regularly enough for me to consider them "friends" like other people have. My social links are severely underdeveloped. -.-; So I want to reconnect with people I was close to in the past. They've all changed...I've changed...and I don't think we'll be super close like we were, but I think it would be good for me to get out there three times over the next one hundred days and spend time with people my age. My secretary buddies, my church family, and the ladies at Zumba are great, but...I need to connect with my own generation. ^.^; 4) Do three new activities. I work, go to church, and go to the gym. My hobbies are reading, writing, yoga, running, and playing with my pups. I need to get out there and do something new and exciting because I feel like I'm letting my youth slip away. -.-; I'm thinking rock climbing, pole dancing, painting class...something different to kind of get me out of my rut. I mean...I'm happy in my rut with all of my hobbies and everything, but...who knows? I might try something new and discover a great passion, right? Right. 5) Go three new places. See number four. My world is very small: home, work, the gym, church, the grocery store... I live in a vibrant city full of awesome stuff. I need to get out more. Weekly Challenges:
Week One (April 11-17): Spend 15 uninterrupted minutes every day with the kids. I spend a LOT of time with my pups, but often I'm multitasking or I sit down with them for a few minutes and then get up to do something else. I want to give them fifteen minutes of undivided attention every day this week.
Week Two (April 18-24): Read the Bible for 15 minutes every day. I've read about 90% of it before, but I don't have a regular Bible-reading practice. I want to work towards that this week because I do get a lot out of it when I do commit to reading.
Week Three (April 25-May 1): Write at least 1,500 words each day. Life keeps getting in the way, and I haven't been writing regularly lately. I want to use this week to tune up my writing practice. Maybe I'll do a contest entry or something this week.
Week Four (May 2-May 8): Do one yoga practice each day. I loooove yoga. I usually do about fifteen minutes most mornings, but it tends to be a real quick session and usually the same twenty asanas. ^.^; This week I want to try some new yoga workouts on youtube and pull out some of my old yoga DVDs.
Week Five (May 9-May 15): One week of vegan eating. First off, I'm a vegetarian already (going on eleven years now) for a wide variety of reasons such as health, love of animals, dislike of the taste/texture of meat, and general squeamishness at the idea of meat (I mean, I'd seriously be upset of someone tried to eat MY arm/thigh/breast/rump, so the thought of eating an animal's...). Fish/seafood are somehow different, though. I don't know why, but I've never had a problem with sea creatures so long as there are no scales/eyes/etcetera. For instance, I can eat crab, but I can't break the poor thing's little arms and get the meat out myself. My father has to do it for me as I cringe and squirm at the cracking sounds. I'm weird. It's a mental thing, but I am what I am.
Okay. Now. Veganism. Kudos to them for their devotion. I can respect what they're trying to do and their dedication to the cause, but I think that their way of eating is crazy and super unhealthy if not planned extremely well. So why am I doing a week of vegan eating? To become aware of just what's in my food and to learn new ways of meeting my nutritional needs by incorporating more plant-based meals. I think by having to scrutinize labels even MORE closely and having to plan out every detail of my diet in order to get all of the nutrients I need, I'll become a better vegetarian. I'll have to learn some new recipes that I can use to supplement my existing repertoire. Though I think the vegan lifestyle is too extreme, I believe this will be a beneficial practice. I'm pretty sure I'm going to inhale cheese, Greek yogurt, eggs, and dark chocolate on May sixteenth once this is over, though. ^.^;
Week Six (May 16-May 22): Meditate for 15 minutes every day. I love meditation! I find it so relaxing and energizing and renewing and uplifting! But I don't make a point of doing it daily at a regular time. Some days I do twenty minutes during my lunch hour, and some days I do quick sessions before bed, but I don't have a regular time and place that I consistently do meditation. I want to focus on taking that time this week.
Week Seven (May 23-May 29): Run at least one mile every day. I've always been a sick kid, even before Juvenile Diabetes set in at age 14. My mom had me at the doctor's office almost every other week during grade school, and I had horrible breathing problems. The Mile Run we had to do in PE class was one of the most mortifying, grueling experiences of my young life. I couldn't run. I couldn't breathe. But the other kids could. They finished in a matter of minutes and made fun of me as I wheezed and limped and had to keep going long, long after everyone else had finished. I hated running. But I've gotten healthier as I've grown up, and now I'm able to exercise without passing out and hacking up blood. My lungs don't seize anymore, and I no longer have to rely on an inhaler. It's still challenging to be active because of my diabetes, but I can do it now.
Running is still a little elusive for me. I've tried to become "A Runner" a few times in the past, but, unfortunately, because I was unable to exercise normally while growing up, my muscles are weak and imbalanced. I've been doing physical therapy over the past year and a half, and I'm getting stronger, and now I think I'm ready to try to be "A Runner" again. It would mean so much to me to kick the Mile Run's you-know-what. It tortured me as a child, and now I'm coming back to show it what I've got. I'm training for my first race at the moment. It's a 5k benefiting brain cancer research, and it's Saturday July 23, the weekend after I finish my 100 days. Right now I'm really taking it slow so I don't hurt myself, but I'm run/walking, and it's going well.
Week Eight (May 30-June 5): Study Japanese for 15 minutes every day. During this week, I really want to focus on tuning up my language skills. I don't study like I used to when I was in university. I mean, I read manga and novels in Japanese, and I watch anime with the subtitles covered up, but I feel like I could benefit from hitting the books a little.
Week Nine (June 6-June 12): Pray for 15 minutes every day. See week six about meditation. Prayer is something I do often but kind of on the spot. I mean, something good will happen, and I'll say a little thank you. Something bad will happen, and I send up a little "Help!". I see the flowers blooming, and I express my gratitude for spring. I hear about a coworker's sick kid, and I turn it over to God. I think my "tweeting" style of prayer is better than nothing, but...I feel like I should have designated prayer time every day.
Conclusion:
And that's pretty much it. Those are my goals and the challenges I hope to take on along the way over these next one hundred days. Feel free to comment, encourage, follow along, or start your own 100 Day Challenge thread with your own goals if this kind of thing speaks to you. As for me, I'm looking forward to the fun new experiences in store for me on this journey. Wish me luck!
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Post by boogum on Apr 17, 2016 21:21:53 GMT
This is an awesome idea, Mikau! I wish you all the best with meeting your goals.
I've actually been trying a similar thing (though I haven't written down my daily/weekly goals as you have done here), and I've found it really beneficial. You've inspired me to be a little more concrete with everything and make it more official.
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Post by Mikauzoran on Apr 18, 2016 2:05:48 GMT
I'm glad that I could inspire you, boogum! Good luck to you as well! ^o^ Yeah. There are so many things that I keep telling myself I need/want to do, but I never get around to actually doing them. I really hope to take advantage of the next one hundred days and start ticking some things off my list. So far, Week One has gotten me off to a good start. Week One Check InSo today marks the end of Week One of my Challenge, and I'm happy to report that I have succeeded in spending fifteen uninterrupted minutes each day with my kids! ^o^ It was really nice to have that time in the mornings with Eiko and Noiz. We played fetch, catch, and tug of war, and I gave them copious belly rubs. We snuggled, and I pet them (and pet them and pet them and pet them...), and, of course, we went on several long walks. Noiz and I even tried out a new trail by our house today. It was really nice, something different, though a lot flatter than our usual courses. I'm planning on going back and taking Eiko sometime. (Eiko and Noiz each get their own walks. It's a pain to walk two seventy-pound dogs together when they have their sibling rivalry--I can go faster than you! I want to walk next to Mommy!--going on. Plus, it's nice to have that one-on-one time with each of them.) Anyway, I really liked spending that uninterrupted time with the kids, and I can tell they enjoyed it to. I'll have to remember to take time out more regularly to give the pups my undivided attention instead of always multitasking or being distracted when we're together. By the by, I think it's been a while since I've posted puppy pics. Below is Eiko and Noiz at Christmas. Eiko is hording all of the new toys, and you can see Noiz snuggling with his peep bunny. I took the peep bunny away when they started thinking about eviscerating it. It was just too cute. I couldn't let it meet such a horrid fate! Also, in addition to completing my challenge of the week, I worked towards my goals too! On Saturday, I took Mummsie to a tea house/cafe in one of the little historic neighborhoods in my city. We had "high tea", and it was a lot of fun. I doubt the authenticity of the experience, but it was enjoyable and quite delicious. Plus, it's always nice to spend time with Mummsie. You can see a picture of the tiers below, but we had cranberry scones with cream, fresh fruit, cucumber sandwiches, tuna salad on a croissant, a little peanut butter brownie dessert, a little raspberry bar, and a mini lemon cupcake. We also had spinach and artichoke quiche and soup. Mummsie had potato soup, but since they use chicken broth in that, they brought me cold strawberry soup instead (not pictured). It was really good! It tasted like a smoothie. Of course, there was tea as well. It was all scrumptious! I had such a nice time, and the old house that the cafe was run out of (it used to be an inn) had so much character and was decorated so quaintly that it really added to the atmosphere. One more thing! It was a great accomplishment for me. As I've mentioned, I'm training for my first 5k in July, and I'm doing it very, very gradually so as not to injure myself. Thursday, I was doing my run, and I was supposed to be running for a minute and a half and then walking for two minutes, repeating for a total run of thirty minutes. Only Megalovania ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcoqR9Bwx1Y ) started playing, and I thought "Megalovania is only, like, two and a half minutes. I can run for that long." So I did. And then I thought, "Well, I'll run through the next song too just to see if I can do it." And I did. And the next song after that, as well as the following one for thirteen minutes straight. At that point, my workout was over and it was time to go inside, but I was so proud that I had run a little over a mile at 5mph, and it didn't feel hard for the first time in my life. It was a pretty comfortable pace, and that's such a big deal for me considering how difficult running was for me when I was a sick kid. The only thing is that I was running at a twelve minute mile pace, and back in grade school, those little snots that teased me could run a mile in ten minutes, so they're still beating me. :/ But! Progress is very satisfying, and I'm so grateful to be able to run at all now.
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Cesela
Senior Member
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Post by Cesela on Apr 18, 2016 18:50:34 GMT
That's your kids? They are so cute! What kind of dogs do you have?
The tea house look lovely. They are actually quite common in England. We got at least three in the tiny city I live in. Haha.
It's really admirable how you put up such a weekly-goal week. I wish you all the best in managing to complete them, Mikau!
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Post by Mikauzoran on Apr 18, 2016 19:35:27 GMT
Yep. Those are my babies, and I am a PROUD mama. ^o^ We're a textbook case of "Who rescued whom?" I may have given them a home and cared for them after they'd been mistreated and abandoned as babies, but they helped me through the tough times of my battle with depression and disorderly eating. They show me every day that I am a lovable, worthwhile person, and I couldn't love them more if I'd actually given birth to them. I sometimes legitimately forget that they're really dogs. ^.^; I pamper them and treat them like real children since I'm not able to safely have biological children...and currently lack a husband to make that possible anyway, so.... Anyway, they're Basset Hounds mixed with Anatolian Shepherds. They'll be two on May twenty-sixth, and you can see more pictures of them in the Holloween and Christmas threads.
In other news, thank you for your support! I've wanted to do a lot of the things in my goals and challenges lists for a while, but--and I know you all can relate--life has always gotten in the way, and the things I tell myself I'll do "eventually" never seem to get done. So for these next one hundred days, I'm really going to focus on making time for those things and bettering all aspects of my life. Setting things down in writing and sharing it publicly will help keep me on track. Some things will be harder than others, but I think this will be an enjoyable journey. ^.^
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Post by Mikauzoran on May 4, 2016 2:53:27 GMT
Week Two Check In Ah. I remember what I forgot last Sunday. I knew there was something. I didn't do my Week Two Check In! I didn't do Week Three for that matter either. -.-; You'll have to excuse me; as you may have heard me whining about the past month, real life has been mean lately, so things have been really hectic, and I'm losing track of...well, pretty much everything outside of work. _-_ Anyway. Week Two actually went well as far as reading the Bible for fifteen minutes a day went. Sometimes I read while I rode my stationary bike in the morning, but most days I took my Bible with me to work and read during my lunch break. It was actually really nice. I read out of my 365 Day Chronological Bible. Like the title suggests, it has readings mapped out for each day of the year so that you complete the whole Bible in 365 days, and the readings are organized in the order that they actually occurred (or, for books like Esther and Job that are less historical than some of the others, they were organized in the relative order that the events would have taken place in history). It's really neat seeing how the story of the Israelites flows. I'm in 2 Samuel right now when David is king of Israel. I really love reading about the "founding fathers" because they are thoroughly human. They slip, they mess up, they falter, and some of them are just bad people at times. And yet these imperfect human beings are written down in history as being God's elect, God's beloved children. It's a huge weight off of my shoulders, honestly. David, especially. I mean, the guy stole, murdered, committed adultery, the whole nine yards. And yet, God always forgave him and welcomed him back with open arms. It's such a relief to me because, bad as I am, I've never had someone killed so I could steal his wife. Therefore there is hope for me. I need reminded of that sometimes, so this was a good week for me despite the turmoil going on in my life. On Monday April 18, I woke up with my knee hurting. As I mentioned up in the header post under Week Seven, being unable to exercise much growing up due to illness, my muscles are imbalanced, so when I run, my knee goes off track, causing pain. Well, I've been doing physical therapy for over a year, and I thought things were going well and I was finally able to run, but...my knee started hurting. I eased off of exercise, but I was still feeling twinges of pain whenever I stepped a certain way on Wednesday, so I got really depressed, thinking I'd never be a runner and I couldn't do it after all and on and on with the negative self-talk. So I couldn't exercise for fear of further exacerbating the problem with my knee, and at the same time I had hit a weight loss plateau, so I was even more upset because my injury kept me from exercising, so I was afraid I would gain weight...so it was a bad week mentally. Reading the Bible was a nice centering exercise during this time. And by Thursday I decided I'd just focus on upper body exercise so I could still make progress, and I tried to focus on non-weight-oriented improvements I've noticed like my pants being super loose and my collarbone being really noticeable now and things like that. By Friday I felt a little better, even though I was still having a little bit of pain. Then on Saturday when I weighed myself, I had lost a pound. Finally. So it all turned out okay in the end, and I'd like to think that I've learned from this experience to focus on the progress I've made thus far and to concentrate on what I CAN do instead of just on my limitations. I'll probably forget and have to learn that lesson again next time I face a similar crisis, but... ^.^; I survived this one, and that's what's important. ...And then on Saturday the twenty-third I took my brother to a Japanese restaurant that we had never been to before, so that works towards my overall goals of going to three new restaurants. It was actually a ton of fun. It was one of those hibachi places where they cook on the grill in front of you. My brother and I didn't sit in that area because we're both a little sensitive to heat, but we could see them cooking from our table, and it was cool. Japas got the steak teriyaki bentou with white rice, California roll, pork gyoza, and miso soup, and I ordered off of the appetizers, so we got tempura shrimp and veggies, fried oysters with ponzu sauce, and ikayaki (tempura fried squid). It was all so good! ^o^ Japas had half of the soup, and I had the other half. He ate the gyoza and steak since I don't eat meat, and he gave me the California roll. We split the appetizers with me getting one or two pieces more of each then him, but we cut all of the tempura veggies in half so we could each have some of each. Then for dessert we got tempura cheesecake and tempura ice cream to split. The cheesecake was sooooo good! It tasted like a really sweet crab rangoon (minus the fishy taste). The ice cream was okay. It wasn't anything like the fried ice cream you get at Mexican restaurants, though. It was more like a sopapilla, but the bread part didn't meld well with the ice cream, so it was difficult to eat, and the breading got really soggy. It tasted fine, but it could have been better seeing as it was six dollars. Needless to say, the one meal served as both lunch and dinner for the day. It was really expensive, but it was a nice splurge. It was nice to have a little break, spend time with my brother, and eat comfort food. I was really happy with the food quality. I was worried about authenticity (given that it's an American restaurant and the staff was mostly Chinese), but the food I was served was actually pretty close to the food I got at the family restaurants, convenience stores, and grocery store delis in Japan. It was nowhere near fine dining quality, so the prices were a little ridiculous, but given that it's ethnic food and they got the taste right, I guess it evens out. Overall, I was pleased, and I had a good time. I'll be back with my Week Three Check In soon. Thanks for reading my prattle and encouraging me. ^.^;
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Post by boogum on May 4, 2016 6:32:24 GMT
I'd like to think that I've learned from this experience to focus on the progress I've made thus far and to concentrate on what I CAN do instead of just on my limitations. I'll probably forget and have to learn that lesson again next time I face a similar crisis, but... I think this is something we all forget and have to relearn sometimes. It's so much easier to focus on your limitations (at least, I find this is the case), but you're absolutely right that it's important to concentrate on what you can do. Often, what we are achieving is more than we realise. About your legs, have you considered just doing brisk walking or are you set on running? I only ask, because I have similar issues when I try to run as a regular part of my exercise routine, so I don't do it anymore. I like to stay active, though, so I walk everywhere if it's an option. Anyway, great to hear you managed to meet so many of your goals despite things being so crazy for you. I have total food envy after reading about your Japanese dining experience. That cheesecake sounds like magic. We simply don't get that stuff here.
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Post by Mikauzoran on May 4, 2016 19:54:03 GMT
Thanks for the encouragement, Boo! ^.^ Hopefully I really have learned from this experience and will be more positive next time disaster strikes so that I can bounce back more quickly. I'm really trying to reframe all of my negative self-talk. It's challenging, but I'm striving towards being kind to myself in my thoughts. I'm not very resilient, and I'm often very harsh on myself, so I'm really trying to work on that.
As far as running goes, I'm kind of dead set on it. ^.^; I'm stubborn and don't like when I can't do something. I already take regular walks with my pups, though Eiko's are pretty languid (2.5 to 3 miles per hour). Noiz makes me work, though (3.5 to 4 miles per hour). I really do want to eventually run a marathon, even if it takes me ten years to get to the point where I'm able to do it. I really enjoy running now that my health is better. It's such an exhilarating experience for me, so I don't want to give it up. ^.^; I may just have to run/walk very slowly for now, but it's definitely something I want to do.
Thanks for the advice, though! And thanks for reading this thread. I'm tickled pink that someone's actually interested in my 100 Day Challenge. ^o^
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Post by boogum on May 4, 2016 20:38:29 GMT
Well, it sounds like you're very self-aware of how you treat yourself and where you are at in life, so you're already on the right track. Recognising those habits go a long way to overcoming those negative tendencies, etc.
Haha, fair enough. I think we all have that "I'm not going to give up on this" goal, even if it causes complications or discomfort.
Anyway, good luck with everything! And you're welcome. I find reading this thread reminds me to do things I know I need to do as well. ^_^
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Post by Mikauzoran on May 5, 2016 2:30:59 GMT
Haha. I'm trying to be aware at least. I've made it to the point where I'm conscious of the fact that I engage in non-beneficial thought patterns and I'm trying to change those patterns when I catch myself in them. Anyway, I'm glad you find this thread helpful. Good luck with your own goals too, Boo! Week Three Check In Okay, so this is the week where the fecal matter really hit the cooling device. -.-; One of our biggest cases is in intensive depos, and this week they were taking place at our office. I'm running around, trying to make sure that our team has everything, doing last minute requests and "Oh shoot! We forgot (fill in the blank here)!!!" and even making copies of documents for opposing counsel--Yeah. It was a very, very crazy, almost surreal, week. It's a good thing Opposing Counsel 3 is cute and very polite to me because Opposing Counsel 1 is a jerk. ...And then at the same time, it's the week before another of our cases goes to trial, so there's madness and chaos going on with that team as well. And the receptionist decides to take a few days off. The backup receptionist is also in charge of hostessing the conference rooms...five of which the group in depos is using, and the backup, backup is swamped, so I had to sit at the reception desk when I really needed to be doing legal grunt work. T.T On top of that, it was Administrative Assistant Appreciate Week. Now, I like being appreciated, but nearly EVERY week at my firm is Mikau Appreciation Week, I'm so blessed to be a valued member of the team. My attorneys and the secretaries ALWAYS make me feel like I'm important, but when the whole week is dedicated to making all of the administrative assistants feel valued, there's always unhealthy food involved. And not just a little unhealthy food but boatloads of it. -.-; And I'm a recovering binge eater. Monday was popcorn bar with five different kinds of sugar-laden varieties. There was also a huge meeting that had leftover food (including that extremely caloric pasta basilica that's to die for) from a super expensive restaurant that we only get catering from a few times a year. AND it was a birthday, so there was an enormous spread of junk, featuring a decadent, homemade, four-layer chocolate mousse cake. I had two multi-grain crackers with cheese, five tortilla chips with a tablespoon of salsa, and six grapes. I did extremely well, but it was HARD. Tuesday, the onslaught continued with another birthday. There was more junk, including a fruit pizza, dirt cake, angel food cake, and nachos with cheese dip. There were still leftovers from the catered meal Monday too. And the firm ordered specialty cupcakes for us from a local bakery that specializes in making 800 calorie monstrosities of heavenly bliss in sugar form. I avoided the firm's kitchens where the food was kept like the bubonic plague. I couldn't avoid them entirely, though, so I scraped a little of the fruit off of the fruit pizza and told myself how proud I was that I'd gained such willpower. Wednesday was actually pretty cool because they booked a pancake artist to come and make us amazing pancakes. He did Bon Jovi and Elvis and even one of our attorney's faces. I didn't have a pancake, but it was so neat to watch him work. But then there were still leftovers from the popcorn and the cupcakes and the birthdays and the meeting. -.-; I didn't eat anything extra on Wednesday, though. Thursday, they had lunch, and I had planned to eat it, so all was well. Well...I had a little more corncake than I had intended, and a few more tortilla chips, but...I stayed pretty much within my calorie limit for the day, and I had worked out to cancel out what I had eaten over, so it's all good. I had two small tortillas with Spanish rice, lettuce, pico de gallo, and a little bit of cheese. And about twenty tortilla chips and a cup of corn cake, but breakfast was 400 calories, and dinner was 300, and I had planned to splurge, so it was okay. But then those well-meaning employers of mine brought out the guitar-shaped cookies that they had specially ordered from a local bakery. -.-; And I excused myself promptly. Friday, there were leftovers everywhere. I think they should have just thrown out the pasta basilica from Monday at that point. It couldn't have still been good. And there was popcorn and three cupcakes and the cookies and Mexican food leftover from the lunch. I inwardly cursed like Nakamori-keibu (okay, maybe not THAT bad since "damn it all" is about as bad as I go) and stayed away from the kitchens. And then everyone gathered together at the end of the day for ice cream floats prepared by the managing partner. So I went and had a cup of ice cream and about an ounce of orange soda. The managing partner gave me a weird look when I told him that I mostly just wanted the generic brand ice cream when they had bought fancy sodas for us, but he's kind of used to me being health-conscious, so he just rolled his eyes and told me how much I and all of my hard work was appreciated by the firm. And I was really proud of how I had handled the entire week. It was good feeling appreciated and also having the float and not feeling like I was out of control. Last year during Appreciation Week, I ate three cupcakes three separate days that week. I hid in one of the storage rooms to eat them, and I felt really ashamed when one of my coworkers saw me take one. And then I went home and cried because I felt like I had no control over myself. I had tried avoiding them, but on the second day they were sitting out I broke down and had one and then a little later I had another...and then a third. The next day I ate two before nine in the morning and felt absolutely sick. The day after that I lasted until the afternoon, but I think I still ended up eating at least two. The reason I share this is because this 100 Day Challenge is all about improving myself mind, body, and spirit, and disorderly eating is one of my major challenges in life that keeps me from truly being healthy emotionally and physically. Surviving this Appreciation Week without binging and feeling out of control and guilty and hating myself is really a huge thing for me, especially since I'm under so much stress at the moment with life and work. It makes it doubly hard, but...I made it, and I'm super proud. I think I've grown a lot and am a few steps closer to being "well" and "healthy" and "normal" now. ...And as for my weekly challenge of writing 1,500 words a day, that didn't happen. ^.^; I wrote everything by hand, and it still has to be typed out, so I don't know how many words I actually got done, but I finished two more chapters of my Prompt Exchange 4 fic, so I'm happy with that, but... The first day I sat down to write and I realized that I was being unrealistic given how busy I was. I thought, "Okay. Maybe I'll just write for an hour each day." and then the second day I thought, "No. That's still unrealistic. The whole point of this exercise is self-improvement. By forcing myself to do more than I'm able, I'm just going to stress myself out even more and end up staying up and not getting enough sleep so that I can meet my quota for the day, and that's ridiculous--completely counter-productive." So I decided my goal would be to make progress in my writing each day. Four of the days I actually did get a substantial amount of writing done. Tuesday, I just typed out what I had handwritten Monday, and Saturday I only had time to brainstorm (Saturday and Sunday were two of the days when I was running around doing errands from 6:30 AM to ten at night). Sunday I considered staying up to write something, but I was exhausted and decided I would be better off sleeping because Monday was another one of those 6:30AM to 10:00PM days. ^.^; But I'm happy with the progress I did make. Now if only I could find time to type out what I have written in my notebook. ^.^; Sorry for talking your ear off about my eating difficulties and life stress. ^.^; This week is yoga week, and it's going well thus far. More on that Sunday, though. TTFN.
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Post by boogum on May 5, 2016 2:58:06 GMT
You know, I can actually relate to the eating issue a lot. I have been struggling with bulimia on and off for the past year and it's just this awful cycle of binge-eating and self-loathing. You did so well to get through that week! I am ridiculously proud of you.
Good decision to relax the writing goal a bit. I tried doing the same (updating a chapter once a week) and it ended up stressing me out so much that I just got depressed, burnt out, and ended up developing insomnia from messed up sleeping patterns. Learning to say to yourself "You know what, this is too much" is one of the hardest things (or maybe that's just for people like me who expect too much of themselves), so good on you for doing that. As you pointed out as well, you did make progress. That's the main thing.
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Post by Mikauzoran on May 5, 2016 11:11:56 GMT
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling too. It really is horrible, and it feels like a lot of people don't really understand eating disorders, and there's this stigma about it. At least in the US, anyway. I'm not sure how it is in New Zealand. I know my parents don't understand. My family loves junk, so it used to be left lying around all about the house. I've had to really work to get them to understand "You don't leave alcohol out in front of a recovering alcoholic, so don't leave cake out in front of me". Now that my environment is a little more stable, I've been able to work on the underlying issues contributing to the binging. I'm still not completely well yet, but I've made progress by telling myself things like "You're upset, not hungry. Go for a walk because that box of cookies will only make you feel worse." and "Being healthy makes you more happy than eating that cupcake ever could." and "I'm stronger than that bag of chips." That's what's helped me, anyway, but everyone's different. If you ever need support, just let me know. I wish you all the luck in the world during your own fight. You're an awesome person, Boo, and you're going to beat this. ^o^
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Post by boogum on May 5, 2016 11:52:47 GMT
No, it's the same here in NZ. The few people who do know about my problem don't understand that, when it's bad, I will get awful anxiety when I try to eat, no matter what the food is. That's why my eating habits are so erratic. I'm literally fighting myself just to eat like a normal person, let alone keep food down. It's just panic, panic, panic, and then eventual 'snap'. That said, I'm doing much better this week in terms of what I'm actually eating. I haven't purposely eaten less than I should, and I have been able to resist all the intense cravings that I know will lead to binge-eating. My anxiety is worse, but that's okay. If I can just get past the withdrawal stage, the anxiety will calm down and I'll be in control again. I've got through this before, so I'm sure I can get through it again. And yeah, I find I say similar things. It's hard to be firm with myself sometimes - especially if I'm already feeling emotionally unstable for whatever reason - but it's also the only way to not give into the 'food = comfort' lie and end up feeling worse. I really want to be happy and healthy again and just enjoy food like I used to, without all the stress, so I'm looking forward to when this all blows over. Anyway, the same goes for you. Ever need support, just want to vent or chat, hit me up. I'm always willing to listen.
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Post by Mikauzoran on May 5, 2016 20:17:54 GMT
I totally understand! Man, I'm so glad it's not just me, but, at the same time, I'm really sad that you have to experience all the anxiety and unhappiness too. :/ Life is hard. Keep fighting, though, and remember to be kind to yourself (easier said than done; I know) because you really are a fabulous human being who deserves happiness. ^.~ I'm rooting for you!
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Post by boogum on May 5, 2016 20:41:02 GMT
Thanks, Mikau! And yeah, there is a weird sense of comfort in knowing it's not just you, even though you wouldn't wish it on anyone. That's why people need to be more open, though, and not fall into the trap of thinking "I can't talk about this. This isn't normal", because support and understanding from others goes a long way to taking the negative edge off your own thoughts. At least, that is what I have found.
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